So what is the norm? —> It’s everything that holds you back.
So what is the norm? —> It’s everything that holds you back.
So what is the norm? —> It’s everything that holds you back.
I EN
About Tess
I’ve lived the chaos. I’ve studied the patterns. Now I teach the freedom behind both.
Psychologist
Tess has a Psychology Degree acquired at Leiden University in the Netherlands, She has worked in mental health care mostly focused on addiction, loss, trauma & behavioural disfunctions.. Psychology is the base of all of her talks & workshops.
Tour Guide
Tess has been guiding tours since she was 19 years old in many different countries, including: Australia, South Africa, Thailand, The Netherlands, England, France, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovenia, Austria, Italy, Greece, Croatia & Andorra.
Writer & Speaker
Tess shares her (traumatic) experience with her readers in her articles, and questions society's norms: why do people make it seem like there is a guideline for how we should live our lives? Tess questions this and is writing a book about this societal pressure and freedom.
Psychologist
Tess has a Psychology Degree acquired at Leiden University in the Netherlands. She worked in mental health care, focusing on addiction, loss, trauma, and behaviour patterns: the foundation of all her talks and workshops..
Tour Guide
Tess has been guiding tours since she was 19 years old in many different countries, including: Australia, South Africa, Thailand, The Netherlands, England, France, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovenia, Austria, Italy, Greece, Croatia & Andorra.
Writer & Speaker
Tess shares her (traumatic) experience with her readers in her articles, and questions society's norms: why do people make it seem like there is a guideline for how we should live our lives? Tess questions this and is writing a book about this societal pressure and freedom.
Companies Tess has worked with or (is working) for:
Companies Tess has worked with or (is working) for:
Hi, I'm Tess
Hi, I'm Tess
I’m 26, a psychologist, tour guide, writer and world traveller.
At 18 I packed my bags and left for Africa. A couple of months later, I was diving with bull sharks in Fiji and travelling across New Zealand on a big green bus. By 19 I was guiding backpackers through the chaos of Sydney by day and shaking cocktails at night.
In 2020 the coronavirus messed up all my plans to stay abroad, so I ended up back in the Netherlands. I studied psychology, fell in love, and worked in mental health: mostly with people struggling with addiction, depression and grief. I liked the work, but the “house, couch, Netflix, wine” life didn’t fit me. So in 2023 I left again, this time without a return plan.
Since then I’ve hiked to Everest Base Camp, solo road-tripped South Africa, poured drinks in India and worked as a tour guide in Thailand… until I got detained by the immigration police for working illegally. Absolutely terrified, I fled to Cambodia and found out I couldn’t go back. Around that time I also lost a good friend I’d worked with in India to a mountain in Nepal. She always said the way we live life is special, and I still hear her voice when I’m standing somewhere insane, realising how fragile and precious life is.
After that I started writing a book on night buses in Vietnam, guided sailing trips in Croatia, led groups by train through Europe, worked a ski season in Andorra, and spent a full summer season guiding in Greece. Next up is the beautiful Finland, for the 2025–26 ski season.
Here’s the thing: I don’t believe in the script society hands us.. House, partner, kids, and a neat little plan. Most people I meet on my trips are struggling: with mental health, with pressure, with fitting into a “norm” that doesn’t feel like theirs.
But what is the norm?
It’s everything that holds you back.
And I want to help you get off it.
I’m 26, a psychologist, writer and world traveller.
At 18 I packed my bags and left for Africa. A couple of months later, I was diving with bull sharks in Fiji and travelling across New Zealand on a big green bus. By 19 I was guiding backpackers through the chaos of Sydney by day and shaking cocktails at night.
In 2020 the coronavirus messed up all my plans to stay abroad, so I ended up back in the Netherlands. I studied psychology, fell in love, and worked in mental health: mostly with people struggling with addiction, depression and grief. I liked the work, but the “house, couch, Netflix, wine” life didn’t fit me. So in 2023 I left again, this time without a return plan.
Since then I’ve hiked to Everest Base Camp, solo road-tripped South Africa, poured drinks in India and worked as a tour guide in Thailand… until I got arrested by immigration police for working illegally. Absolutely terrified, I fled to Cambodia and found out I couldn’t go back. Around that time I also lost a good friend I’d worked with in India to a mountain in Nepal. She always said the way we live life is special, and I still hear her voice when I’m standing somewhere insane, realising how fragile and precious life is.
After that I started writing a book on night buses in Vietnam, guided sailing trips in Croatia, led groups by train through Europe, worked a ski season in Andorra, and spent a full summer season guiding in Greece. Next up is the beautiful Finland, for the 2025–26 ski season.
Here’s the thing: I don’t believe in the script society hands us.. House, partner, kids, and a neat little plan. Most people I meet on my trips are struggling: with mental health, with pressure, with fitting into a “norm” that doesn’t feel like theirs.
But what is the norm?
It’s everything that holds you back.
And I want to help you get off it.
Hi, I'm Tess
3
continents I've called home
5+
years of iving & working “off the norm”
40+
countries i've travelled, lived and worked in
1000+
people guided through chaos, adventure & growth
3
continents I've called home
5+
years of iving & working “off the norm”
years of living & working “off the norm”
40+
countries i've travelled, lived and worked in
1000+
people guided through chaos, adventure & growth
What does freedom mean to you?
I never fit the script. At 18 I left home, at 19 I was leading tours across the world, and by 24 I got detained in Thailand. I’ve carried the weight of public humiliation, lost a friend to the mountains in Nepal, burned out in a hostel bunk bed, and faced the kind of fear you don’t post on Instagram. Along the way, I’ve dealt with burnout, loss, unsafe moments, and all the chaos that comes with living off the norm.
But here’s the thing: I’m also a psychologist. Which means I don’t just live the stories. I understand the patterns behind them. I’ve studied why we crave freedom, why we burn out, and why we keep chasing a life that doesn’t always make us happy.
Off the Norm was born from that mix: lived adventure and psychological depth. I don’t believe in polished Instagram freedom. I believe in raw conversations, in facing the uncomfortable, and in building a life that’s truly yours.
This space is where I share that: through one-on-one sessions, talks, and workshops.
If you’re tired of playing by the rules, welcome. You’re in the right place.
It starts with one conversation.
Not ready to book? Let’s just talk.
Why choose Off The Norm?
Psychologist + world traveler
I bring both a psychology degree and the real-life lessons from leading 50+ groups worldwide. Science meets lived experience.
Psychologist + world traveler
I bring both a psychology degree and the real-life lessons from leading 50+ groups worldwide. Science meets lived experience.
Psychologist + world traveler
I bring both a psychology degree and the real-life lessons from leading 50+ groups worldwide. Science meets lived experience.
Accessible Pricing
Freedom should be accessible, not exclusive. My sessions are priced to be fair, transparent, and doable.
Accessible Pricing
Freedom should be accessible, not exclusive. My sessions are priced to be fair, transparent, and doable.
Accessible Pricing
Freedom should be accessible, not exclusive. My sessions are priced to be fair, transparent, and doable.
Freedom, your way
Whether it’s a session, a talk, or a getaway: everything is built around your version of freedom, not someone else’s script.
Freedom, your way
Whether it’s a session, a talk, or a getaway: everything is built around your version of freedom, not someone else’s script.
Freedom, your way
Whether it’s a session, a talk, or a getaway: everything is built around your version of freedom, not someone else’s script.
You don’t have to break the norm by yourself.
You don’t need a one-size-fits-all plan. You need someone who listens and helps you define what freedom really means to you. Maybe you need one session, maybe a few more: either way, you get connection, not a waiting list.
Personal guidance tailored to your story
Direct contact, no waiting lists
Flexible sessions: more or less, as you need
Honest, judgment-free conversations to break your norm
Ways we can work together
Your questions, answered
Here’s what most people want to know before we start. If you don’t find the information you’re looking for, feel free to contact me.
What if I’m not sure coaching or a talk is right for me?
That’s exactly the reason to try. You don’t need to be “ready” or “certain.” A session isn’t a lifelong contract, it’s a reality check. Think of it as testing the waters, not jumping off a cliff. We'll go at your pace.
Is this only for people in crisis, or also if I just feel stuck?
Do I have to share everything?
Do you only work with women?
How much does a session cost, and what do I actually get?
What if I don’t have time for a whole program?
Are you just going to tell me “everything will be fine”?
What kind of people do you work with?
What if I’m not sure coaching or a talk is right for me?
That’s exactly the reason to try. You don’t need to be “ready” or “certain.” A session isn’t a lifelong contract, it’s a reality check. Think of it as testing the waters, not jumping off a cliff. We'll go at your pace.
Is this only for people in crisis, or also if I just feel stuck?
Do I have to share everything?
Do you only work with women?
How much does a session cost, and what do I actually get?
What if I don’t have time for a whole program?
Are you just going to tell me “everything will be fine”?
What kind of people do you work with?
What if I’m not sure coaching or a talk is right for me?
That’s exactly the reason to try. You don’t need to be “ready” or “certain.” A session isn’t a lifelong contract, it’s a reality check. Think of it as testing the waters, not jumping off a cliff. We'll go at your pace.
Is this only for people in crisis, or also if I just feel stuck?
Do I have to share everything?
Do you only work with women?
How much does a session cost, and what do I actually get?
What if I don’t have time for a whole program?
Are you just going to tell me “everything will be fine”?
What kind of people do you work with?
Don't take my word for it
If you want to know what it’s like to work with me, hear it from the people who’ve been there. Their words tell the story better than I ever could.
Let's talk about your freedom.
No waiting lists. No polished scripts. Just an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go. I’ve guided hundreds of people through chaos, burnout, and big adventures, and I know freedom rarely looks perfect.
Book a session or send me a message: I’d love to hear your story.
Let’s connect!
Let's talk about your freedom.
No waiting lists. No polished scripts. Just an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go. I’ve guided hundreds of people through chaos, burnout, and big adventures, and I know freedom rarely looks perfect.
Book a session or send me a message: I’d love to hear your story.
Let’s connect!
Latest writings
Stories that make you think, laugh, or question the norm.
Latest writings
Stories that make you think, laugh, or question the norm.
Ready to break the norm?
Book a clarity session, join a workshop, or start with joining the community. Your choice.
Ready to break the norm?
Book a clarity session, join a workshop, or start with joining the community. Your choice.
Ready to break the norm?
Book a clarity session, join a workshop, or start with joining the community. Your choice.